The Art of Letting Go

Negative energy. It’s that uneasy feeling you get in your body that tells you something isn’t right. It’s that person who you’re still associated with, but know in your heart that they no longer serve a healthy purpose in your life. It’s your intuition, sending you signals every time you walk into that one place, telling you you’re not supposed to be there. We experience negative energy more often than we care to admit, and instead of paying attention to the cause, it’s easy to just ignore it. 

"We begin a journey, and sometimes things don’t always pan out the way we think they will."

It can be so difficult to sever a tie. I get it, there’s a connection there. Our minds can often hang onto things longer than necessary out of fear of what might happen if something changes. Usually, when connections are formed with someone - friendship or relationship - it starts out really positive. We begin a journey, and sometimes things don’t always pan out the way we think they will. This is where the challenge lies. Base relationships on longevity, and it becomes even harder to sever ties when it’s a family member or a long-time friend. One thing I’ve learned when letting go is that if the person or place is detrimental to your well-being, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been in your life or if you share DNA. Staying stuck on what was and not facing what is will end up being a recipe for disaster.

When a connection has gone way past its expiration date, it becomes a burden on our souls. It doesn’t feel good to allow this person or space into our lives, so why do we allow it to? Though it might symbolize comfort and familiarity, the initial meaning behind this now negative entity has changed. Because it no longer serves you the way it used to, it’s got to go. Sometimes, when I’m trying to gauge if I need to let go of something in my life, I ask myself, “How would you feel if you could sever this tie with no guilt attached?” If the answer is “freaking wonderful,” I already know what I have to do. 

"What we fail to realize is that holding on hinders our growth and holds us hostage."

Recently, I’ve encountered a lot of people going through changes in their lives where they’re faced with the challenge of letting go of someone that no longer suits them. I won’t lie, I’m actually going through a bit of the same thing. What we fail to realize is that holding on hinders our growth and holds us hostage. Progression can only happen if you’re willing to do the hard stuff like releasing what no longer sits right within you. Let go of the fear that if something major changes in your life, you won’t be okay. In reality, you’ll be even better if you play your cards right. If you’re not sure how to begin the process of letting go of what’s already served its purpose, here’s some starters:

  • Assess how you feel around this person or place. Do you still feel safe and comfortable?
  • If not, begin to brainstorm ways to release the connection. This can include:

    • Having a talk with the person expressing your need to cut the tie (if it’s warranted)
    • Beginning to take a backseat role and slowly phasing out of the connection

    • Writing a letter to the person expressing how you feel and choosing whether or not to send it

    • If it’s a specific place, like a job, weighing some alternatives that you could go to instead and making a plan to leave

  • Make a list of why this person/place is no longer for you to keep on hand

  • If you need to begin healing from the loss, read more about how to do that here

Letting go is hard, and it probably always will be. The key is to listen to what your heart and intuition are telling you. They will always have the answers.