The only thing constant in life is change. It usually happens juuuust as we’re getting comfortable in a place of stability and then BOOM. Something hits out of nowhere. It can be jarring, feeling as if your daily life has changed for good. It happened to me about a week ago, when a relationship that felt incredibly important to my life ended.
Today I want to talk about what it means to accept change, and get back into that natural rhythm of life again. Hopefully this can be a resource to you when you go through big changes that effect you a little too much than you would’ve liked, like my recent change in my life did.
Let yourself process.
This is the hardest part, and most painful. It can be so tempting to try and force yourself back into your normal routine. In reality, it’s pretty impossible to do immediately. When something big happens in your life, your mind is desperately trying to rewire and establish a new normal which can result in you really freaking out. This usually comes in the form of tears, fighting against the change, and low motivation to do pretty much anything. I’ll be honest, there’s been a heaviness in my heart for more than a week now. It’s not a foreign feeling, but it hasn’t happened in so long that my soul wants to do everything in its power to stop it from happening. Listen here: It’s okay to stop so you can process, react, and grieve the change. In fact, it’s almost essential so that you can move forward into a new pattern of life. I tried to go straight back into my normal routine, and much to my dismay it totally didn’t work. That’s because the Universe wanted me to feel the change. There’s an importance in allowing yourself to unravel in times of pain. It can feel like a purge almost, as the grief takes over your body and you lose control of all that was before. It can also help you remember the immense pain you went through and make decisions in the future that might prevent it from happening again. Pain often equates to growth. It’s hard, you don’t want to feel it, but once it’s over you’ve become a different person. Here’s a pro-tip in times of grief: try to accept your emotions as they are and don’t fight them. It’s made me feel a little better every time I remember to do it.
Remember that life continues.
It can be easy to slip into negative mindsets that make it more difficult for us to attract positive things into our lives in a time of intense grief. Like attracts like, and the more negative we are the easier it can be to attract more tough situations. It’s okay if you can’t help it, honestly. Though there are ways to deflect the possibility of you being hit with another whirlwind before you’re ready. Once you’ve gotten to a place where the tears come less, it’s easier to walk outside, and you’re not thrown into random episodes of emotions, try doing the normal stuff. Remember those things you did for yourself before the big change happened? Do those things. For me, it looks a little like meditating every morning, bullet journaling, listening to podcasts, getting out and socializing, and saying affirmations. It looks different for everyone. Doing the usual stuff can spark the idea in your head that through the grief, life continues to move on. Resisting is not the answer. Just let it flow and keep going. Treat yourself with the respect you deserve. Even if you don’t feel worth it right now, I promise you are.
Love yourself. Because you are worth it.
Oh my goodness. If this one isn’t the most important one. I’m a big fan of expressing love for yourself every day, even if it’s just in the little ways. Often change and loss can make you feel like you are unworthy. In actuality, it’s the exact opposite. The Universe is trying to show that you are worthy of even better things and people. While you feel this loss, it’s so important to sit down by yourself and rekindle your relationship with yourself. It’s the most significant one you will ever have in your life. Take that time. Remember all that you are grateful for. Remember how capable you are of thriving. Remember that you matter. Say your affirmations, play some feel good music, write it out, show yourself that through all the chaos you STILL are the shit. The stronger your relationship with yourself, the less others are able to tear your beliefs down. You will feel normal again. You will experience that joy again. It will happen. You are especially one of a kind, custom made, with a beautiful heart and mind. You are always loved. Don’t ever forget that.