Making Mistakes and Learning To Forgive Yourself
Everyone makes mistakes, and they range in magnitude. Feelings of guilt, sadness, and disappointment can arise, making one feel stuck in a cycle that ultimately ends in self-hatred. It can be difficult to move forward, as the reminder of a mistake can stick to us, impossible to shake off. That’s when practicing forgiveness of self comes in handy. Without it, a mistake can stick with us for months, even years. Having just gone through the practice of forgiving myself, the steps I took are still fresh in my mind, and I’d love to share them with you.
Face the underlying problem.
I’m a firm believer in the idea that there’s always a reason behind someone’s actions. People don’t just do hurtful things for the sake of doing them. When people tell me they had no clue why they made a big mistake, I tell them to dig deeper. Often, mean actions are fueled by fear and anger that don’t always have much to do with the other person. Take a good look into why you might’ve felt the need to do what you did. From there, make a resolution to improve your issues with that underlying problem. Write it out, talk to someone about it, any way to begin to clear up that underlying stuff.
Leave yourself room for error.
If you’re anything like me, you don’t EVER expect yourself to mess up. You go throughout life with everything carefully calculated so that you can avoid any circumstances that might lead you to make a mistake. I won’t lie, being well put together does have its benefits, but it will never 100% prevent you from screwing up. So leave yourself some room for error. You are human, and the best learning experiences come from mistakes. If you’re a person who doesn’t mess up often, give yourself a break and understand that maybe you were just due for a reality check of your humanity. If you tend to not get it right too often, look into why that is, but most importantly, don’t give yourself a big pity party. It’s okay to feel bad about something you’ve done wrong, but wallowing in it isn’t going to solve anything. More often than not, the more you wallow, the more you pull the type of energy towards yourself that fulfills the prophecy that you think you’re a screw up. In both situations, absolutely allow yourself to feel. Just don’t forget to raise your head up high and keep it pushing.
Speak forgiveness into existence.
You know how much I love my affirmations, and this time is no exception. They help so much when moving past stressful events. If I had known about them sooner, it would’ve taken me so much less time to move away from things in the past. When forgiving yourself, changing your thinking through affirmations is a way to relieve some of the tension in your mind. Try this affirmation:
“I love myself unconditionally for who I am, the lessons I learn only benefit my growth.”
Often we underestimate the power of speaking things into existence and how crazy accurate it can be when we do. Instead of being unaware, use it to your advantage! I have spoken so many of my desires into existence, including forgiving myself after making a huge mistake. It works incredibly well.
We all make mistakes, it’s a part of life. What truly matters is how we learn and grow from them. Understand that you’re never alone, you aren’t terrible at all, and no matter what you might have done, you will be a better person because of it. Until next time, loves.