the story
I just want my birthday to really feel like I'm being celebrated.
About a month ago I started musing about birthday plans for this year, and that was all I could think about. For the past two years I’ve traveled for my birthday and spent each one with family. Now I don’t feel like going into how those went down, because this is supposed to be an upbeat newsletter, so we gon skip over that. Point is, I’d been avoiding NYC on my birthday because the thought of planning something felt super overwhelming and honestly, I didn’t think I had enough people in the city who’d be willing to celebrate with more than a dinner or brunch. The birthday energy had been off. Now this year? It was feeling real different.
What if I planned out exactly what I wanted and didn’t rely on or expect anyone else to do anything for me?
The best plan, tbh. I absolutely love my birthday, yet for some reason always surrendered the power to someone else and didn’t put effort into planning what I wanted. Not this year though. I wanted a birthday weekend — can y’all believe I’ve never done that?! A smaller dinner with the people I adore the most in this city, a barre class with a specially curated playlist of nonstop bad b*tch music (hello, sexy 27th), and of course a pregame and night out. Guess we’d just have to see how many people could fit in my little apartment.
I made the decision to take ownership of my special celebration. Wild that it hadn’t occurred to me to do so before, but it’s pretty on brand with how the past year of my life has been. Me, realizing I wanted something different for myself than what had been, deciding to follow my heart, and then going after what I wanted.
Enter: Ayorinde’s Sexy 27th Birthday Weekend. Because 27 sound kinda sexy, don’t it?
the lesson
You are not powerless. Especially on your birthday. I’m not sure where I got the idea that it was lame to plan my own festivities, but I am absolutely doing it again next year. Speaking from my couch, mid-birthday weekend as I write this, I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun on a birthday. Turns out when you take charge and make things happen the way you desire, it actually makes for a way better experience (!!).
People will absolutely show up for you, and it’ll be the best reminder of how loved you are. I used to be afraid of planning multiple birthday events. I didn’t want to do the most or ask “too much” of anyone, so I’ve always kept it cute with a little dinner or brunch and not much else. Instead of doing the least so that I wouldn’t be disappointed or inconvenience anyone, I planned a birthday weekend I knew I would love and told everyone to show up to what they could. And show up they did. I feel so loved and affirmed this weekend, and I’m grateful for every moment of it.
The effort put into building a community and maintaining friendships is 1000% worth it. I was at my birthday dinner last night and literally couldn’t stop smiling. As I looked around at both new friends and old, it was so abundantly clear that being intentional about the people I invested my energy into had manifested into the best community I’ve ever had. Each person at that table had inspired me, brought me immense joy, and poured into me in countless ways. That’s what you get when you truly try to get to know people who resonate with your spirit and they do the same.
Don’t burn bridges with your local bartenders unless absolutely necessary. Story (within a story) time. I met a bartender last summer who was so fine. After we’d exchanged numbers, he told me he was 45. I kid you NOT. Black certainly don't crack because that man didn't look a day over 35. Almost went on a date for the plot, but he tried it with a last minute plan and y’all know I don’t do those. Everything was cool though. I tested the waters about a month ago when there was a long line outside his bar and he was still a sweetheart. Fast forward to last night, my friends and I only paid for one round. He made sure to take care of us. Lucky, lucky me.
the light
The best birthday weekend spent with the best friends I could ask for. The way these people have made me feel so special is unmatched. I am so, so thankful for each and every one of them who have showed up and showed out for me.
This past year I made countless intentional choices and decisions that were far from easy, but made for a better life quality that I knew I wanted and deserved. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, knowing that what was on the other side was even sweeter than I could imagine. Speaking from that other side now, it absolutely is. I’m savoring every moment of it.
My actual birthday is tomorrow, but people have been wishing me Happy Birthday since Friday and I ain’t mad at it. Turning 27 deserves a four day celebration (in my opinion). Anyway, it’s time for me to watch shows and let this Popeyes do what it does so I can enjoy my night out. Here’s to Sexy 27, y’all. Thank you so much for coming along on this crazy ride with me ❤️