the story
The moment my internet stalking skills came in handy for something other than minding business that wasn’t mine ended up being a game-changer for my career and my personal growth. As a young black woman in corporate, I wouldn’t be the first to attest to just how hard it can be finding a mentor who looks like me, can relate to my experience, and truly wants to see me succeed. Shamelessly combing through a former colleague's LinkedIn connections one day, I spotted Lauren and asked for an intro. At the time I was heading into my last semester of college, and I really needed some guidance, preferably from a black woman who had skin in the game. Lauren’s background blew me away, and the first question I really wanted to ask her was “how did you even accomplish all this?”
To be honest, I really wanted to impress her. I wanted to show her that for a 21 year old I had my stuff together, would never waste her time, and was ready to learn from her if she’d let me. I even typed up a list of questions before our first call so I wouldn’t get nervous and lose my train of thought. Yes, it was that serious to me!
As a very young black woman there’s something really special about having a black woman older than you, who knows what the heck she’s doing, take you under her wing and be a key figure in helping you brave young adulthood. It’s so important and necessary, especially in the world we live in today. I’m just grateful she became that for me.
the lesson
Go after what you want. Seriously. Try not to overthink it and just do the thing you need to do. Fear can convince us that the risk isn’t worth taking. Newsflash: it’s almost always worth it. Countless times I’ve allowed fear to keep me from going out of my comfort zone, and I’ve always regretted those moments. With Lauren, I’d been so nervous that I wouldn’t be able to impress her or show that I was worth her time that I almost didn’t ask for an intro. Thank goodness I did not let that stop me.
It is so important to identify people who are doing the work you want to do and are in places you want to be. I can never emphasize enough the importance of having someone who’s already achieved goals similar to your own help guide you and be a listening ear. It makes a world of a difference. Though my path doesn’t mirror hers like 21 year old me thought I wanted it to, having conversations with her helped me identify the things I’m really passionate about and pave the way for a life I love.
the light
What began as an intro call to learn about her career path turned into one of the most impactful experiences in mentorship and coaching I’ve ever had. Lauren was kind, approachable, and honest. Every conversation I had with her left me feeling empowered and less intimidated by whatever challenge I’d brought to her. She pushed me to release what I thought was the “right” career and life path and not be so afraid to embrace things I really loved to do. I've made two career transitions in less than two years because of how often she reminded me to find something I actually enjoy. Lauren also was one of the first people who made it crystal clear to me that setting boundaries and advocating for myself was not something to avoid.
During one of our career chats she actually asked me if I’d ever pursue writing because of how much I talked about it. At the time I said no, I didn’t want to tie money to or put pressure on something I loved so much. Yet here I am, still finding a way to do it that’s authentic to me. It goes without saying, but she truly made an impact on my early 20s.
It’s never too late to identify a few people you look up to and try to make the connection. Believe it or not, there’s a good number of folks out there who are willing to help and want to see you succeed. If you’re nervous about the outcome, just remember: you’ll never know if you don’t try.