the story
My 25th birthday felt *weird*. It was a sunny day in San Diego and I was spending it with my older siblings. We started the day with yoga class on the beach, courtesy of my big sister, and splashed around the water after our Savasana. A real wholesome moment, tbh.
On paper, everything was going well. I’d just moved into my first solo apartment in my favorite part of Brooklyn and made a career pivot that felt perfect. Two big moves…yet I couldn’t shake this feeling that nothing was right.
In the coming months it felt like everything that wasn’t working parked itself front and center in my mind. Something had to give. Boundaries were overdue with some of my closest family members, my relationship was past its expiration date, the blog I’d started when I was 20 felt like a loose end, and I wasn’t quite sure if my career pivot was the best fit for me.
25 was a challenging year for my identity. I woke up every day feeling like I was in between versions of myself. I often wondered who I was and came up with nothing I really liked. I knew that this gray area was meant to catapult me into a space that was far better than my early 20s had been, yet I had no idea how to get there. I was having a ROUGH time. Shedding layer after layer of people, ideas, and narratives that no longer suited me felt like a never ending emotional rollercoaster and I was ready to get off the damn ride.
the lesson
Extreme discomfort and upset is often the catalyst for radical change. As I experienced one emotional wave after another, I realized the only thing I could do was accept how I truly felt and change all the things that were bothering me. Did it feel like the Universe was quite literally dragging me every chance it got? It absolutely did. But here’s the thing…
Even the worst situations can make way for a miracle. Believe it or not, a miracle can simply be recovering and moving forward with your life. A miracle can be starting the day off feeling terrible but ending it feeling empowered. A miracle can be as small or as large as you want it to be. I learned that it was okay to feel stuck in the mud, as long as I remembered to acknowledge that it wouldn’t always feel that way. Change can be one of the most uncomfortable feelings, but in this case it was meant to push me forward in the best way possible.
the light
As I learned how to unapologetically choose myself, I got closer and closer to that evolved, happier, more self-actualized version of me that I’d been wanting to become. As much of a work in progress as I still am, I feel lighter because I’ve learned that changing my mind is just a normal part of life. Clutching onto an idea past the time that it serves me to do so will only make it more difficult to let go.
As corny as it may sound, it really does always get better as long as your commitment to yourself remains strong. Something shifts, a door opens, a laugh bubbles to the surface to break the tension you’ve been feeling. Miracles happen, and suddenly life doesn’t feel like sh*t anymore. No matter how bad it gets, everything is temporary and that in itself is a blessing.
Talk to you next Sunday ❤️