the story
I woke up on a Sunday morning not too long ago, rolled out of bed and into the bathroom, and looked at myself in the mirror. That’s when the giggles started. Have you ever woken up from an absolutely wild night and thought, “I actually can’t believe this is the life I’m living”? I sure have. There’s something about living in NYC in your twenties that never fails to exhaust and exhilarate you all at once. I love it, and it simultaneously drives me crazy. Sometimes I have no clue what I’m doing, sometimes I say yes to way too much, I definitely need to work on sitting myself down somewhere, but in that very moment I felt alive…and grateful af.
A good friend of mine and I always call decisions that may or may not result in an L “for the plot,” because let’s be real, sometimes you need a little bit of chaos in your life to spice things up. Now, I know what you’re thinking…
“Chile, you do not need one more moment of chaos. Wasn’t your last newsletter all about how overwhelmed you were?”
That’s very true, but I don’t know y’all. The warm weather hit and a TikTok girlie said it smells like tequila and bad decisions out. I tend to agree 😈
Making a move solely for the plot can be anything, but the idea is to just go for it. Follow that urge and think about the rest later. As long as you feel alive, that’s all that matters. I’d been on a streak of doing exactly what I wanted, simply because it aligned with my spirit (or sometimes the little devil in me). Now here I was, with a goofy grin on my face, so happy to be exactly where I was.
Y’all might want some examples so let me preface them with saying the risk levels do vary because I can’t always be out here doing the most. Lately, doing it for the plot had looked like making a conscious decision to stop playing by certain rules that had been dragging me down. It was going down a “lucky girl syndrome” rabbithole on TikTok and applying it to my everyday life. It was pushing past the nerves and giving personal invites to my barre classes. It was running into someone for the first time in forever, choosing chaos after a little liquid courage, and taking a trip down memory lane before going back to acting like we barely knew each other. Yeah, it was that kind of week.
I used to be such a careful person. Risks never felt worth it. I’d calculate every move I made, measuring my actions by how bad it would be if I ended up looking stupid. Rejection, in any way, shape or form, felt like the worst possible outcome. That’s until I realized that staying safe would get me nowhere, and if I wanted to truly feel alive I needed to act like it.
the lesson
Stop thinking so much, and just do it for the plot. Even if there’s a 90% chance you’ll regret it. I’ve gotten an incredible response to me being raw and honest on my platforms, and then there’s those times when your ex-boyfriend’s homie finds your IG and stalks your story the one time you decided to vent about dating. Whewww I hate it here! Another example: I always try to provide visuals on social for my barre classes because it’s led me to some amazing opportunities. However, if y’all think I confidently posted a reel of me doing a booty workout, think again. Luckily, it performed pretty well.
It’s okay to regret it later, as long as you’re not too hard on yourself. There are so many times I’ve regretted taking a leap, but what hurt me the most was how much I was judging myself for it. At some point down the line I realized that the torture was self-inflicted and it simply did not have to be that way! There’s always room to acknowledge when a decision wasn’t the right choice — that’s called being honest and holding yourself accountable. However, beating yourself up for too long only holds you back.
Sometimes you may not regret it at all. It may be exactly what you needed. I now tell myself at least 5-10x a day that I’m so lucky and everything works out in my favor. It sounds cringe, but believe me when I say it’s slowly shifting my energy and inviting in some really beautiful opportunities. I may not recommend breaking actual rules, but I do know that lately the only rules I break are the ones that are costing me my mental health. And let me tell y’all, that little trip down memory lane was exactly what I needed. Questionable decision? Definitely. Do I regret it? Nah.
the light
Because of all the things I’ve done with the reasoning that it’s just for the plot, I am so much more confident and trusting in myself. In carrying a mindset that doesn’t fixate on the outcome, I’ve brought in some major blessings. I’ve also learned to trust that even if things don’t pan out the way I want them to, I got me. That’s all the reassurance I truly need. I know I’m on the right path, sometimes I just have to take the leap and know that the Universe will lead me in the right direction regardless.
I think y’all deserve to do something for the plot. There’s something about this warm weather and the sun hitting just right that makes it feel like the perfect time to take a risk. So here’s what I want you to do: believe in yourself, believe in your ability to bounce back (because you always do), and know that you’re the only safety net you need. What freaks you out the most may just be the best thing that happens to you one day. Here’s to doing what makes you feel alive.