the story
“The team had nothing but amazing things to say about you — I’m so excited to offer you the position!”
A feeling of pure relief washed over me. I had gotten a job offer that was the definition of elevating to the next level. I couldn’t believe it, but I also could. I’d known, deep down, that I was going to get it. The role was perfect for me.
What I’d been discovering lately was the power of two things: my internal dialogue and how it impacted the energy that the world received from me. Both go hand in hand, and how they play together determines the way I interpret my present experience and what I manifest for myself in the future. In the past, I would’ve immediately begun to come up with all the reasons why I probably wouldn’t get the job. As a result, my energy would not have been where it needed to be for the interviews.
Instead, I approached things differently. I talked to myself like I deserved it. I expected the conversations to go well. I leaned into really being myself. And of course, I put a lot of work in to make sure I knew my shit. I believed I had it in the bag, and at the end of the day I got everything I wanted.
The weekend after I’d accepted the offer I was attending a field day in Brooklyn and ran into none other than my most recent ex-boyfriend. I’d escaped this man for nearly two years and now here I was stuck playing games with him (and, thankfully, 50 other people) for three hours…the Universe really loves to play me when it comes to my past. But ANYWAY.
I could’ve let it mess my whole day up, and believe me that first thirty minutes of shock was not it. But instead I brushed it off, committed to joy, and still had an amazing time. By the end of the day I'd landed a date. A kind man who would make time for me amidst his crazy investment banker schedule, take me on dates I enjoyed, shared my desire to try new experiences, and was looking for a relationship. If you live in NYC, you know he was a hot commodity.
My career and my love life had been the hard part for me over the past few years. I’d stumble and fall over and over again, wondering why things were always a struggle yet not realizing that my belief systems were the very cause. Lately I'd been doing things a little different. I believed I was worthy of better and as a result, began to receive more blessings than I could count.
the lesson
Restore the trust that God (or the Universe, or whatever you like to call your higher power) is on your side. Sometimes we fall down — a lot. It can cause us to turn inward, away from people we trust and away from whatever higher power thought it was cool to bring all this bullsh*t upon us. For awhile there, I wasn’t sure whose side God was on and that hindered me from trusting that my positive energy would even be received well. Learning to trust myself has been my priority for awhile now, but the next step was believing the Universe wanted me to win too. The more you’re willing to trust the universal support that has never left you, the easier it will be to co-create a life you love.
Believing is about knowing you deserve the best and will receive the best, regardless of the outcome of one situation. Sadly, things didn’t work out with our friend the investment banker, but it wasn’t because of anything crazy. After a few dates I realized we didn’t really connect in the way I was looking for. Things may have ended, but he was proof that I’m on the right track. My love life is blessed y’all, and that’s all I’m calling into my life.
Energy flows where your attention goes — for the most part. Y’all ever heard of the Law of Attraction? Look it up, because I won’t do it justice. I used to believe that if I thought one “bad” or “negative” thing, I wouldn’t attract what I wanted. That belief left no room for me to be human. It’s impossible to control every single thought that passes through your mind. What matters is how you interpret the thought and flip it on its head.
Never be afraid to try a new coping strategy. EFT (the emotional freedom technique) has been around for awhile now, so long that my mom tried to get me do it as a kid but naturally, I refused. I rediscovered it recently and it’s honestly changed the way I do life. As I work through deep seated emotions I’ve kept in for years, EFT tapping has helped me to actually let go of what simply isn’t true for me anymore. Sometimes the energy we have stored in our bodies keeps us from truly moving on. Tapping with Brad, my new favorite white guy on the internet, has been an essential way for me to move that stagnant energy right on out of body. Keep in mind that I’m not a licensed therapist, I’m just simply sharing something that’s been powerful for me.
the light
Everything feels different now, in the best way. I’m finally able to own the new chapter I’m in and embrace the fact that the Universe has always loved and supported me. I’m finally able to truly know that I deserve each blessing that’s come into my life. I’m finally able to manifest what I really desire and watch it unfold right in front of me. All of this has been possible from the beginning. It was just up to me to get out of my own way and tune into it the power I already had.
As I close out this newsletter, I want you to really reflect on what’s possible for you that you may be unintentionally holding yourself back from. We all do it, and that’s okay. It’s just time to kick that habit to the curb. If there’s one step you can take today that will get you closer to what it is you really want, take it. That’s my only ask ❤️
my matcha moment 🍵
I’ve been thinking a lot about the holidays lately and just how much emotions they tend to stir up. It can be a beautiful time for some and lowkey miserable for others. Before we close out the rest of the year, I wanted y’all to be the first invited to Grow in Gratitude on Sunday, November 12 at 12:30pm here in Brooklyn! I’ll be leading you through an afternoon of guided gratitude journaling, reflection and a barre class that will leave you feeling powerful AF. Nike Well Collective will also be coming through and gifting each one of you with a workout set to wear, so make sure you grab your ticket soon!