Hey loves! I’m Imani Sanders – a New-York girlie, born and raised in Atlanta, GA, with a film degree from Howard University and an affinity to storytelling. Typically, you can find me shopping in Soho, eating fish tacos, dying in pilates and exploring the city’s most unique experiences. However, I’m also a writer, with a published book entitled Life is Shitty and a monthly newsletter entitled & Another Thing.
the story
I took a long swig of water, as I sat across from one of my dearest friends who clearly had decided to choose violence. “So explain to me what makes the book so good?” The friend inquired, with a tone that insinuated this had gone from casual updates to unwanted life-coaching. “And who’s your audience?” “And have you let anyone read it?” “And what books would you say this aligns with?” “Why would someone want to purchase the book?”
I loved this friend with all my heart, but in the words of Carrie Bradshaw, “I couldn’t do this without alcohol.” And unfortunately, the new Bushwick Thai spot didn’t have their liquor license yet, so I was forced to sit in the hot seat with nothing more than an ice-water to chill me off.
I knew my book was good. I knew I was talented. I knew who my audience was, and I’d studied them enough to predict they’d accept my book with open arms, oohs and aahs. But it was very apparent as I sat there stuttering through my words, over-talking, trying to properly address every question from every possible angle, that I hadn’t yet mastered expressing my thoughts with oral elegance.
After thirty minutes of interrogation, my artsy friend finally switched topics. “I know I’m going in on you right now,” he concluded “but I promise I’m only trying to help. In the world of art, there’s only two options: you convince people you’re worth taking a chance on, or your work is so good you don’t have to speak. I believe you’re immensely talented and you know, I think you’re the perfect candidate for a New York Times best seller. But you have to believe that, because you’re the one that’s gonna have to sell it.”
the lesson
My creative bestie is exceptionally good at thinking on his toes, selling himself, and advocating for his art. But I, on the other hand, have always seemed to struggle with “coming up with the right answer.” Each question while sitting at that table felt like a bullet aiming to expose all the doubts and insecurities I had revolving around being a part-time author, who wanted her big break. And the more he dug, the more frustrated I became.
But it wasn’t like I hadn’t been in this situation before. I’d seen people immensely less talented and hard-working receive promotions, get awards, and acquire leadership positions I damn near deserved. All because when the opportunity came to get what I wanted — I wasn’t confident enough to advocate for what I deserved.
And despite knowing my lack of oral elegance when advocating for myself was something I needed to work on— I still chose to hone in on what I already knew how to do, rather than build up a skill that could make me better! *sigh*
Most of us, myself included, like to prepare for dreams in ways that keep us comfortable. We like to focus on the things we’re good at, and let God quote on quote handle the rest. When in reality, we should be investing in all the stuff that might stifle us from accepting our dreams once the opportunity is handed to us.
the light
A reality I’ve recently had to embrace is that dreams will challenge you. No matter how much you want them, how long you’ve prayed for it, and how much work you’ve put towards them— rarely do you finally get to a dream and not find yourself feeling challenged, overwhelmed, and suddenly within doubt.
And it makes total sense. The other shoe has finally dropped—and now it’s time to reap the rewards from all the hard work you’ve been putting in. You’re moving into a new space! Enlarging your horizons! Meeting new people! Living in your purpose! Expanding your impact! It sounds cuter than it actually is lol. I don’t know about y’all but when things start happening in my favor, I’m like alright God…. I know I’m your favorite and all, but is this really what we’re doing? Am I actually finna get what I want? It’s actually quite scary when the investors are ready, the analytics dashboard shows growth, the contracts come rolling in, the right partner comes along, the money looking right, and the right doors are opening. When obtaining what you want is as easy as completing a few steps, it’s the scariest thing in the world. And change, no matter how much you want it, is quite literally just hard.
Prepare to embrace the discomfort! When your dreams start to come true, you don’t want to find yourself stuttering, halted, and in many cases self-sabotaging— because of how you feel. Because you no longer feel prepared. You no longer feel deserving.
Remember: Nothing in life is by chance, because everything is always working for your good. And aside from the fact that you’ve sacrificed, slaved, and prayed for the things you’ve received. God wouldn’t let you have it, if it wasn’t meant for you. 💅🏾 Trust your intuition, eliminate doubt, and make shit shake!
my matcha moment 🍵
Now I don’t drink matcha. In fact, I had to google what matcha is before sending Ayorinde my little write-up! However, I love giving people recommendations, and this week I’m encouraging all of you to stretch. Yes, you heard that right – STRETCH! Aside from all the everyday tension we put on our bodies, so many of us are working out, taking hot girl walks, being pilates princesses, and entangling with other human beings (wink-wink). The least you can do is show your body some extra love!