Wow. Hey hi hello, I can’t say HNY anymore because we’re way past that now. How are y’all doing, are we surviving winter?!
It’s a whole two months into 2026 and I am just now finding the time to sit myself down and yap. That’s how busy the start of my year was. Sooo much has happened. I survived another round of layoffs, finally got my promotion at work, started my life coaching practice with actual clients, missed a flight for the first time since I was a teenager, and fulfilled my maid of honor duties organizing my sister’s bachelorette weekend. All in less than 60 days. Last month when I realized I’d missed the last Sunday in January, I said chile, we gon have to push to February. And now it’s March 1st because I again, keep thinking we have one Sunday left in the month when we do not. Oh well, I’m here!!!!
All that being said, a lot has been on my mind y’all. I’m turning 30 in May and recently just found out I’m someone people look up to? Shockingly, this piece of information did not sit well with me and now we have a lot to unpack.
I’m my mom’s only child and the youngest of five children on my dad’s side, which means growing up nobody looked up to me for shit. I was pretty much free to do my own thing and not worry about the example I was setting. When a few women in my broader circle started making comments about what I did being inspiring and wanting to be like me, I had a totally opposite reaction than I expected: I got really stressed out.
“I want to be just like Ayorinde!” someone had said to me when we were talking about her goals for the year. Mentally, I froze. Because girl, no you do not. I wanted to say it, bluntly at that, but instead I filed my reaction away for later and encouraged her to think about ways she’d like to tap deeper into her own self and what she wanted.
When I told my friends how it made me feel, they didn’t quite understand. I got a lot of, “that’s so sweet that people think of you that way!” to which I disagreed. In theory, it’s a huge compliment, and yet it was really bothering me that these women saw me as a good example. I couldn’t put my finger on why yet, but the amount of anxiety I had around it was strange.
Therapy that week felt like a lot. I was listing off events and commitments and work stress and thoughts on my dating life. When I got to the part about this sudden surge of women finding me inspiring, I started crying.
To be real, I’m not sure I set that great of an example for others. It actually scares me a little bit to think of someone else that I care about trying to juggle all the things I do. People see what I put on social media and the fact that I don’t typically appear stressed, which I think gives the impression that I’m not burning the candle at both ends. Baby, the candle is a puddle of wax at this point. Never in a million years would I tell another woman to put the same pressure on herself that I put on myself. It would damn near feel irresponsible to do so, which begs the question, how did I even get here?
It started with Bright-Eyed Joy as a blog in 2017, then getting my barre certification in 2019. I started this newsletter in 2022 and then decided I wanted to pair movement and reflection together with community events. 2024 was the year I got my YTT, which transitioned into teaching at studios post-certification. Then finally last year I applied for a scholarship to my life coach training program and actually got it, even after I knew it would be best to push it off one more year. The reality is, I’m passionate about a lot of things and I’m one hell of a go-getter.
This is some heavily Gemini-coded shit. We’re like the jack of all trades and in need of a lot of stimulation. We constantly like to learn and try new things, ALL the things, and that can be to our detriment. I now work full-time, teach yoga a few times a week, coach clients, workout at least five times a week, keep steady involvement in my social circles, and I still regularly put myself out there to date. In February I traveled back to back weekends, one being my sister’s bachelorette that I was at the helm of organizing. Needless to say, I’m freaking exhausted.
What I’ve been telling myself is that almost all these things bring me fulfillment. Outside of work, I’m genuinely not doing anything I don’t want to do. So maybe it’s fine, right? Actually, I don’t think so.
Here’s the question that keeps playing in my head over and over: is it possible to do what I love, make the money I want to make, and not be burned out?
Right now, I’m not really sure. What I do know is that I can’t just say I don’t want to make changes because everything I do, I love. At the end of the day, stretching myself too thin, even if it’s with great things, can’t be an option anymore. I want to feel good about it when people say they look up to me. I want to be able to coach people on achieving their dreams, sustainably. I can’t do that with full confidence if I don’t model it myself.
Most of us are going to get to the point one day where someone looks up to us for inspiration and guidance. They’ll see what you’re doing from the outside and something will resonate strongly. To them, you clearly have it all figured out, but we know that’s never the reality. I don’t know how I feel about being a role model for someone else, but I do know that whether or not I want it to happen, people are watching. I am not just an individual who operates in a vacuum. If I’m visible and in community with others, something is going to wear off on them. I want it to be the good stuff.
If you're feeling overworked and burned out, same. Join the club. I hope you know that you're worthy of reflecting and making changes to honor what you need. If, however, you need an extra kick in the butt (like me), I encourage you to ask yourself how you’d feel if someone you care about told you they want to be like you. Do this at your own risk, it can bring up a lot! But it also might uncover areas of your life that you want to give some extra love and attention to. You don’t need to be a role model for anyone, but you do owe it to yourself to live in a way you’re proud of.