You know what I love? Guest writers. By the looks of how successful the first two were, y'all seem to love them too!
If you've had a story on your heart that you want to share, now is your time. Submit your story here. Can't wait to hear from you ❤️
Another quick note: after this week, you'll start to see the newsletter come in from a new email: ayorinde@brighteyedjoy.com. Why yes, I'm feeling very official. Do me a favor and add it to your email contacts so you don't miss a beat.
the story
I’ve talked myself out of a lot of things over the years, specifically when they’ve had to do with betting on a dream or passion of mine. Instead of asking for what I wanted, I’ve always figured out a way around it, even if it meant having to sacrifice my own happiness. Instead of taking the plunge and doing something that scared me, I’d stay put and count a million reasons why it wouldn’t work out or wasn’t worth the risk. As much as the people around me cheered me on and gassed me up, I didn’t believe in myself and what I was capable of. I’d grown comfortable being a smaller version of who I knew I was, and had decided it was much safer to protect myself from the eyes and opinions of others than go after the dreams that made me happy.
I started Bright-Eyed Joy 1.0 back in 2017 when I was living my BEST life during an internship in the Bay Area. It was a self-care and wellness blog (when all that stuff had just started to be cool) and I absolutely loved what I was doing. Around the time I began to gain some traction, several things hit the fan in my personal life and I found myself continuously putting BEJ on the backburner. I’d try to write or post something on Instagram, but after a while I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Due to a series of unfortunate events, my confidence had absolutely tanked, taking all my inspiration with it. I felt so guilty, knowing I was giving up on something I loved, but I also couldn’t fake creativity and ya girl just could not get with the program. In 2020, I finally accepted that it was okay to let the BEJ dream go, so I did.
Fast forward two years (and a ton of soul searching) later, the idea to launch a newsletter about the 20s came to me straight out of the blue. I had never felt so inspired and motivated to start something in my life. The creativity was flowing and every time I worked on it I felt so happy and energized. I still feel that way, btw. Before I launched, however, I had to make a promise to myself not to get in my own way this time. In the past, I wouldn’t spend enough time or effort on personal projects because I was scared of failing. With 20Something Stories, it had to be different.
the lesson
It’s okay to stop something if it’s no longer serving you. Just make sure you learn how to distinguish between misalignment and lack of discipline or motivation. What started out as the latter because my confidence had been in the trash ended up morphing into something that just didn’t align with who I was anymore. Sooo in my case it was a little bit of both. Once I let it go though, I was able to clear out the old and make space for my mind to reset and eventually discover something that was more aligned with who I was.
Once I began to act on my vision, I realized how important it was to make time for the things that really mattered to me. I’m not going to lie, it takes a lot of discipline to work a full-time job, write a weekly newsletter, film content, engage with an audience, ideate/plan ahead of time, while also pouring into my relationship with myself and my community. Y’all didn’t ask for this honesty, but after several last minute plans popped up last weekend that I just couldn’t say no to, I got home at 2:30am (a little more than tipsy) and still finished my newsletter to make sure it came out on time in less than six hours. If you saw a typo, no you didn’t!!! It can be really hard sometimes to balance all my priorities, but the one thing I always ask myself is, “how bad do you really want it?” The answer is almost always “real bad.” S/O to Ms. Caresha.
Learning to stop caring about what other people think and just do the thing that made me happy was also huge for me. I used to place entirely too much value on how other people perceived me (something I’m still working through). Instead of validating myself, I’d rely on others’ opinions in place of trusting my own intuition and internal compass. Yes, I want my content to resonate with people but I also had to realize that I’m not for everyone and I don’t need to be. My biggest anxiety inducer used to be posting TikToks or Reels talking about the topics I care about, fearing that someone I knew would happen upon it and think I was a weirdo. Now I do it all the time, and getting out of my comfort zone on a regular basis has been a huge help in building my confidence.
the light
Because I got out of my own way, I’ve created a project I love and find so much fulfillment in. Because I got out of my own way, I spend less time thinking about who’s going to see my work and how they’ll judge it. Because I got out of my own way, I’ve proved to myself just how much I can accomplish and cultivated more confidence in myself than I’ve ever had. The result? Opportunities land in my lap with so much ease. I get amazing feedback from you all just by being my authentic self. I create on my own terms and I love that for me.
As I signal to the Universe what I truly desire, things are moving and shaking at a faster pace than I thought they would, but I’m here for it. For example, I went from being okay with not knowing when I’d teach my next barre class to locking in a beautiful studio and holding my first class in over a year within the span of a week. The easiest, most aligned process that plopped itself right in front of me while scrolling on Instagram. Now, I have a consistent space to teach, hold IRL events (stay tuned!) and do something I love.
For those of you who have something on your heart that you really want to go after but haven’t yet had the courage to, I’ll sum up my advice in the words of my mom who’s literally said the same thing to me my entire life.
Just do the damn thing.