the story
Birthday dinners are a lot. The planning, the outfit prep, the guilt that comes with picking a nice restaurant and not wanting your friends to pay a ton of money just to celebrate you, the slight worry that maybe it'll be awkward because you're combining people from all different parts and phases of your life at one table to stare at each other and hopefully get along enough to keep the vibes going.
I am never late to things, not even my own birthday dinners. But as the queen of doing the most, I'd taken it upon myself to drive back from the Catskills the morning of my birthday dinner, with a list of things to still do in preparation for that night.
I'm also not a glam girl nor am I super girly. Searching for birthday dresses, figuring out what to do with my nails, getting the right shoes to match the dress, finding accessories and putting on much more makeup than I ever do just for one big birthday moment at Buddakan is simply not a joyful experience for me. By the time I'd reached the restaurant I was flustered, overwhelmed, and 45 minutes behind schedule.
As we sat down, I took it upon myself to break the ice and get people talking as the drinks arrived. Then a good friend of mine took it upon HER self to shine the spotlight on me.
“Let's go around and do intros, but also say one thing you love about Ayorinde and your favorite memory of her.”
I put my hands over my eyes, blushing. This little moment could go really well, but also be embarrassing af. Which it absolutely was when my cousin recounted how I threw up in the bed we shared at our grandparents' house in the middle of the night when were five and seven, and the hell that broke loose when she woke up at 3am to vomit in her hair. What can I say, I've never been one to have a strong stomach!!
As my circle of friends closed out their reflections, I realized there was a pattern. Nearly every one of them had in some way touched on how much they admired my ability to go after exactly what I wanted and never give up, no matter how hard things could be. Apparently it was inspiring??
It wasn't something I ever would've thought of myself, to be honest. But the next day as I winded down from my birthday activities it dawned on me that what they said was true. Over the past few years I've done a lot to go after the things I'm passionate about and make things happen, despite how scary it all was. I have a lot of courage, and maybe that was something I could help other people tap into as well.
the lesson
When you've been searching for answers inside yourself, sometimes you need a little nudge from your close friends to remind you of who you are. After yoga teacher training, I'd been trying to figure out what my first offering would be. I wanted it to be intentional, I wanted to serve the community, and I wanted it to really come from my heart. When my friends shined a light on a part of me I hadn't paid much attention to, it helped me realize that the best offering I could give was the one that was so close to my heart that I didn't even know it was there. I could provide a space to inspire courage.
the light
With all that being said, I finally have an answer to the endless stream of inquiries about what I'll be doing with yoga, or at least how things will begin over the next few weeks…
The Courage Community Yoga Project is a class series designed to help you cultivate courage in your everyday life. From tapping into your inner power to beginning again, each class will focus on a specific way we can be more courageous. Starting next week, you can find me every Wednesday evening at 7pm at Jane Bailey Memorial Garden for an energizing 60 minute yoga flow! Class is open to all levels and mats will be provided.
Though this class is free to the public, donations will be accepted on behalf of the Loveland Foundation and Therapy For Black Men, two therapy funds supporting access to mental healthcare for the black community.
Come through for some yoga y'all!